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Day by Day Events of the YFZ Ranch Raid

2008-06-20 15:39:33

Personal Experiences by Marie J. Musser

 

 
 
4-3-08 Thursday
5:00 PM
Officers started gathering at the main entry gate. Jim Jessop talked to them to determine what was happening. One of the boys came running into the dining room and breathlessly announced, “There’s a whole bunch of cops at the gate.”
 
We have been a persecuted and driven people. We are not popular with the world, so our reaction was to gather all the children into the house, close our blinds, and lock our doors. We finished the day in normal routine. Why are we not accepted by the world? Because we are different, and that scares the world.
 
9:00 PM
Officers entered from the main gate. There were more than 20 vehicles in the first group. At this time one of my family members came to my room and said, “We need to pray fervently; there are people trying to get on the land.” I asked, “Does anyone know what they want?” She answered, “We don’t know.”
 
All Night
The fathers were notified to bring their daughters to be interviewed by CPS at the Meetinghouse. The girls were interviewed all night, some for nine hours.
 
4-4-08 Friday
6:00 AM
We received a call that our calls were being monitored.
 
All Morning
There was a standoff at the Meetinghouse in which our men tried to avoid the unnecessary search and disruption of the families. 
 
The searches started, occupants being identified by CPS. They were required to give
their names and birth dates. Here at our home, we were still keeping our children inside. We were told to really watch our water usage, so I didn’t do my daily chore of the family laundry. Since my bedroom is on the southwest corner, I had a good view of what was happening down at the Big House. My room became the watch room. The older boys watched with their binoculars all morning until lunch time.   I helped Parley with his English poster and kept Jacob and Terrill with me. The question kept coming to my mind, “Why are they here; what do they want?”
 
After Lunch Cleanup:
Ray called Leroy about the milking chores. Leroy told him to stay put, that these people were at his house and that possibly they would be coming to our home too.
 
1:30 PM
Mary came up into my room and said she had been in communication with Rich. She said that these people were investigating underage marriages. He simply advised us to cooperate and answer their questions if they were to come to our home.
 
At this time the first buses left the Meetinghouse with girls between the ages of 8 and 18. They were taken to Eldorado for further questioning.
 
2:00 PM
I was in my bedroom with my three boys, cleaning the room, when Mary came and asked us all to come down to the living room. Uncle Nate was there with a group of CPS workers. There were two armed men standing on the north side of the room. A very tall bearded man asked us our names and birth dates. During this time, the armed men walked through the home. The CPS man wrote down this information, and they soon left. This CPS man was friendly and kind. He was a little curious as to who did all the cleaning and cooking in our home. As he was walking out of our house, he turned to Uncle Nate and said, “They are a very nice looking bunch.” Uncle Nate said,
“Yes, they are.” Then this CPS man said, “See, they’re all smiling.” We all breathed a sigh of relief and thought that they would all go away now that they had got their information. I walked into the kitchen to set up the meat grinder on the Hobart to run the wheat through for whole-grain bread.
 
2:20 PM
I had put two cups of wheat through the meat grinder, when one of the older boys said there were more people at the door and asked me to come and answer the door. I think everyone must have heard the doorbell because we all arrived in the living room at the same time. As I walked in, I saw an older lady sitting on the piano bench by our computer table and a younger lady standing by her, who asked Mary to get her children together and give their names and birth dates. When Mary called Ephraim, Ray walked over, and she gave him a simple look of “It’s not your turn yet.” The older lady turned on Mary and started talking to her in a raised voice. Mary couldn’t understand what she had done wrong, and neither could the rest of our family. The kindness was gone.  All the children went very quiet as she continued yelling at Mary. Then she turned to us and said to get the children up to the front of the room. We quickly walked up there, our children in total silence and with white faces.
 
The older lady had Mary go into the dining room as she continued yelling at her. The younger lady walked back in and began asking us our names and our children’s names. Around this time many armed men started coming into the home and walking through the home. When the CPS interviewer got to one of our younger boys, she brusquely asked, “What happened to your eye?” He was so scared he couldn’t talk. She said, “Come up here so your mother can see your eye.” His mother did not know anything about it. With a shaky voice and teary eyes, Moroni explained that he had tripped, fallen on the carpet, and gotten a carpet burn by his eye.
 
The younger lady would go in and out of the living room. During all this time, the older lady was still yelling at Mary. Feeling that I had to go give Mary some support, I walked into the dining room and sat across from Mary as the CPS lady continued yelling about a spiritual ceremony. Then she told me to leave the room. When I came back into the living room, all the children were still sitting in complete silence. At this time our front door opened, and a big gun swung into the room.  As we all gazed upon this scene, a man poked his head in, looked at us, and then closed the door.
 
This interviewing continued until about 4:45 PM. They had armed men completely surrounding our home and some of them going through the home. They finally left. We were all very sober and shaken by this experience.
 
4:50 PM
I was on dinner, but although it was time to eat, no dinner was ready. Since nobody wanted to eat, I made a simple dinner of toast, fresh grapes, and banana shakes. Some of the ladies mentioned that the armed men had taken some of the family photo albums.
 
About 6:00 PM we started on dinner cleanup, when I witnessed something that I can never forget. As I was gathering up the dinner dishes, I noticed a bus pull into our neighbors’ driveway east of us. The lettering on the bus said “Baptist Church.” It stopped, and a bunch of CPS workers got out.  Then a truck/van pulled up, and several armed men got out the back and walked over to the house. One man with his big gun went up the deck stairs and opened the front door. The other armed men gathered around the house, most of them on the side where the first armed man had entered. They had their guns pointing at the doorway of the house. As the first gunman entered, many of the CPS workers followed him.
 
In about 15 to 20 minutes we saw a few of these CPS worker come out, followed by our neighbors’ little children in single-file. It made my heart melt to see those innocent children being marched out by CPS workers and armed men. The father also came out and followed his children to the bus. After the children were loaded, he got on, we imagined, to say his goodbyes. Then they had him get off. He walked around the bus and stopped at each window to wave to his children, who were waving at him. By this time the tears were coming down my cheeks. The bus pulled away, all the CPS workers and armed men left, and there stood this father with his two older sons. He put his hands up to his face and covered his face. He was weeping.
 
It is not possible to write down or even to convey in words the feeling in my heart. But I continued to trust in God, knowing that we had been a people seeking diligently to live His laws, which far exceed the standards of man’s laws. I knew Heavenly Father would take care of us. All of our family witnessed this scene from the east windows of our home. The questions in all of our hearts and minds were, “Are we next?” “Why are they doing this?” “What have we done?”
 
7:30 PM
Buses with the young mothers and children left. Some of the mothers were invited to go to Eldorado to be with their daughters who had been taken earlier that day. We tried the best we could to finish the day according to our daily schedule. We all slept in our clothes, not knowing when our house would be next.
 
4-5-08 Saturday
 
2:00 PM
Up to this time, we had stayed in our home. We now noticed the Priesthood men gathering around our sacred sites. We later learned that some of our men were working hard to get a “stay” on the judge’s orders. In our home, we didn’t know what was going on. Why would these people want to enter our sacred buildings? About this time we saw the troopers move into their positions and begin their efforts to enter our sacred sites.
 
3:00 PM
A phone call informed us that these people were determined to enter our sacred sites. We knelt down and prayed fervently.
 
3:50 PM
At this time a helicopter was flying over the temple. We saw a big line of cars pass our home.
.
4:25 PM
We saw two vehicles that looked like ambulances turn down towards the Meetinghouse. We later learned they both carried trained search dogs.
 
4:50 PM 
We watched our faithful men fall to their knees in fervent prayer, yearning unto the Lord that our sacred sites would not be desecrated. At this time we witnessed a tanker drive up on the east road between the temple and the printing building. Following was another truck/van. These two vehicles drove to the farthest gate to the west on the north side of the building. By this time there were armed men surrounding these sites. About 30 of these men rushed at the gate, where two of our men stood. It was hard to see what they did with these two men. At this time, the other armed men approached the rest of our men and kept them in check. We saw them do a body search on one of the men. Next we saw them get out a ladder to scale the walls. A man climbed up the ladder, looked over the wall, and then climbed back down. Then he moved the ladder over to the gate. At this point it was hard to tell what happened. We could see that they had opened the gate and were now on the temple grounds.
 
6:10 PM
The armed men entered the temple, and the temple was desecrated. At this time the print building also was entered and desecrated. We saw some of these armed men come out of the east temple doors with their guns ready. We felt heartsick, yet we could feel Heavenly Father’s peace in our hearts. Would we love Him most, or did we love a building more? We kept up our rejoicing prayers of oneness.
 
7:30 PM
At this time, some of the mothers were reunited with their daughters in Eldorado. Here at home the officers continued searching and taking whatever they felt was evidence. More of the mothers and children were taken. Again, we all slept in our clothes, not knowing what would happen next. The same questions remained in our minds:  “Why are they doing this?” “What are they looking for?” “What have we done?”
 
4-6-08 Sunday
 
3:00 AM
I awoke and looked out the window at the temple. They had turned all the lights on. It gave me such an eerie feeling. I could not feel the Heavenly light as I looked upon that sight. Though it was sad to witness, I knew the Lord had a purpose and a plan in these experiences.
 
Morning
We watched many vehicles surround the temple. A helicopter flew in and landed outside the temple walls. We saw them unload their dogs. What a sight to see these hundred of people freely walking in and out of the temple.
 
9:00 AM
We held Sunday school with our family. We listened to a beautiful sermon of our dear Prophet.
 
 After Sunday school we got word that they were starting to take more families. Our house was in the pathway of the homes they were plundering. We helped each child pack one set of clothes. I went out and watered our just-established herb garden, not knowing when we would be back.
 
5:00 PM
The bus pulled up to our home. CPS workers came into the home without any explanation or reasons for what they were doing. Our house filled with CPS workers and armed men, who herded us out to the bus. As I walked out to the bus with my three boys, I thought, “Now what did we do; how can they come in and do this? I can’t think of any law we’ve broken.” I just wanted someone to tell me what I did wrong, what law I had broken for them to want to take my children.  We went to other homes and picked up more people.
 
6:30 PM
The bus loaded, we began driving out to the gate. We passed by the Big House and saw many hands waving through the west window. One of those hands was Rosie’s. The thought came to my mind, “When will I return to my Zion home?”
 
By nightfall, all the mothers and children were gone. Imagine the lonely heartsick feeling of those who remained. The armed force stopped all driving on the land and stopped all equipment.
 
As we rode on the bus, we prayed and sang. The CPS lady that managed the bus treated us kindly. It was dark when we pulled up to a building with a sign that said “Fort Concho Stables.” As we began to unload, there were people who searched through all our luggage. We entered these stables through a big garage door, noticing Christmas lights still wrapped around the posts. The building was filled with lines of cots. We helped the children get some of the available food. Then we did the best we could to help them say their prayers and go to bed. Someone who had brought an iPod with speakers turned on our Priesthood songs; the music seemed to comfort the children.
 
I slept on the end cot near the opening of the building. The CPS workers would walk down the aisles of cots all through the night. Some of us ladies established our own night watch. During the night I got very cold, sleeping by this open door, One or two of our ladies slipped a blanket over me as they walked by on their night duty. What a blessing it was to be with friends and to feel Heavenly Father’s presence around us. Thus was our first night in captivity. (A special note: This was the birth date of our Lord and Savior, who was born in a stable.  Here we were in a very humble condition in some old stables. I felt a surge of gratitude in my heart for this experience, and I am so grateful for our Lord and Savior.)
4-7-08 Monday
 
This is what took place back at home:
 
The people could only walk. No vehicles were allowed, or the drivers would be subject to arrest and their vehicles would be impounded. The searching and pillaging continued in our homes. Some of the men walked over and worked on the “new house” that was being built. An armed mob prowled around and watched all day.
 
At the Fort Concho Stables, we helped the children with their morning prayers. There was only a four-stall bathroom with two sinks. (I’m grateful we had that much!) We made a head count of our people; the total came to 174. We helped the children get some breakfast, which was made by the Baptist Church. They really made an effort to fix the food we were used to eating. 
 
I began to look around to see how we could improve our situation. I saw a lot of folding tables by the side of the building and asked if I could set one up.  CPS workers helped me, and we got some benches so that the children could work on coloring, drawing, handwriting, and so forth. We were surrounded by CPS workers, who would walk through all day and watch us continually.
 
At the back of the building was a stage for programs. There were a bunch of wooden risers covered with carpet. I hauled two of these up by my bed and put them to the side, so that I might have a little privacy.   I didn’t get permission from CPS; I just did it. Only a few feet from my bed was where the main group of CPS workers sat all during the day and throughout the night.
 
It was a chore to keep our energetic children in this confined area. They had already been confined for three days at home while all the events took place there. Heavenly Father heard our prayers and saw our needs. CPS workers put up a disposable fence in the back of this building and fenced off a small area. We were grateful! About 30 feet away was a big sand pile. I thought it would be ideal for the children.  Later that night, I asked a lady who seemed to be in charge if we could do something about extending the fence to go over to this sand pile. She strongly agreed and said she would see to it in the morning. 
During this day we began asking when we would go home and how long they planned on our being there. None of them had a definite answer. One of the workers said we could be there for two weeks.
 
I still could not figure out why they wanted to take all of us away. What were they going to do with us? What had we done?
 
4-8-08 Tuesday
 
This is what took place at home:
 
The FBI arrived with a new search warrant for all financial records. They confiscated all our computers, files, and so forth. They put everyone under “house arrest” and wouldn’t let anyone walk away from their home. Every home was violated again as the FBI went through everything. “Evidence” was gathered and taken.
 
8:00 PM
 
The first papers were served on the men this evening in the Meetinghouse, where the men filled the air with their songs. The ladies and some of the men sang on the porches of the homes where some few remained.
 
At Fort Concho Stables:
 
Workers brought in some portable showers. What a blessing to be able to clean up the children and ourselves! The concrete stable floors were covered with straw and dirt. We swept and mopped them and also cleaned the dirty bathrooms. It appeared that we would have to do the janitorial services in the building. The older boys cleaned the graffiti off some of the walls, swept the walls, and mopped them. Heavenly Father blessed us to make the best of the situation and helped us begin to make a Zion. They opened up the fenced area to be a little bigger but did not include the sand pile. Still I was grateful for this area for the children.
 
Later this day, while I was near our cots, two or three people came in and began looking around at the conditions. I heard them comment on how close the cots were to each other. I think they were from the Health Department. Today Amy Hennington, an attorney, came to the stables, now designated as shelter 4.  She gave us a little information but couldn’t answer most of our questions. During the day a CPS lady came looking for me to interview me and my children. I left the shelter with her and my children, followed by two other CPS workers. We walked a short distance to a government building then down many hallways. It was so good to see some of our ladies. It felt as though the Prophet Joseph came to my side as I silently walked down those long halls, praying. I felt his presence and knew he would help me through. I am grateful for him and the many times he has come to my aid.
 
When we came to the designated room, they told me they wanted to separate me from my children as they did these interviews. I protested and said the boys could not leave my sight. So I sat in the doorway of an office, and they opened a door right across the hall from where I was. I could see the children and hear everything that was happening where they were. Two CPS workers, a man and a lady, said that they must stay right there in case the children wandered off.
 
When we left our home, one of the ladies handed me a sticky note with an attorney’s name and phone number and said to call him if I needed help. This attorney’s name was Nathan Butler.
 
The CPS investigator began asking me names and birth dates. I can not count how many times she asked for the same information. She began asking other questions on a personal level, and I told her I wanted to talk to my attorney before I went further. She seemed surprised and asked me my attorney’s name. I told her, and then she got up and left the room. She came back in and said we would call him right now. So I gave her the phone number, and she called him. He told her that he was not representing the women in this case but gave her the name of two attorneys who were representing the women. When the investigator called their office, they didn’t want to talk to her but asked her to hand the phone to me. The names of these two attorneys were Jim Pearle and Ken Eisenberg.
 
They advised me to cooperate with CPS in answering any general medical questions but not to say any fathers’ names. It was a relief to begin to feel that we had some civil rights. I hung up the phone. I told the CPS lady that I wanted to cooperate with CPS, but that I would like my attorney to be present in answering all their questions. I told her I would be willing to answer any medical questions she had concerning my boys. She asked a few. 
 
After she had gotten out of me all she could, she wanted to interview each of my boys separately. I protested and asked to call my attorney again. He advised me to show a willingness to cooperate but to have my attorney present before I would allow this. I told this to the CPS investigator, who by this time seemed very frustrated that she was not able to get any of the information she thought she was after. Two CPS workers, a man and a lady, walked us back over to the stables. As we arrived, in all honesty of heart and merely curious about the history of where we were, I asked them, “Are these really horse stables?” They seemed very embarrassed and avoided answering my question.
 
I told my boys we could go back outside where they could run and kick the balls. The CPS workers were continually chasing the balls that went over the orange plastic fence. 
During the day, a lady came outside where the children were and started asking us questions about how CPS had taken us. She seemed quite appalled at what was happening, told us she was one of the workers that took care of the building, and said that she would pray for us. She said she couldn’t see anything wrong with us and that we had beautiful children. Some of the CPS workers commented that they had never seen such sweet older children and young children.
 
About mid afternoon CPS made an announcement that they would be loading us onto some buses to take us to a bigger and better place about ten minutes away from where we were. They told us to pack up, to leave the cots and bedding, and that they would provide new cots and bedding at this next shelter. So we packed up and cleaned our areas the best we could. There were many kind CPS workers.
 
We boarded the buses; the drive was a pretty one. We crossed over the Concho River. I could feel Heavenly Father encouraging us again.
 
We drove into a huge parking lot in front of a large round building with the title “San Angelo Coliseum.” Some of us drove up to another big building that said “Well Fargo Pavilion. ”Here the buses stopped, and we got off. With a feeling of anxiety and distress, I entered this building. I just kept thinking, “What is happening; do they plan on keeping us forever? What have we done that gives them the right to do this to us?” 
 
After we had hauled our luggage in, they made each of us sanitize our hands. I walked in and saw that this was a much larger place. The cots didn’t fill up the whole building.
There were tables set up where we could sit down and eat. There was a large place where the children could play. They had tables filled with toys. The cots had new bedding and new sleeping bags.
 
I started crying with mixed emotions―gratitude to Heavenly Father for improving our situation and anxiety to know what this was all about and what their plans for us were. Were they trying to buy our friendship so they could do what they wanted with us?”
 
I was approached by a CPS worker named Shannon, who had treated me very kindly at the stables. She asked, “Marie, are you ok?” I wiped my tears away and told her I would be fine. She seemed to really care. She said if there was anything she could do for me, she wanted to help me. I smiled at her and told her “thank you.”
 
At this place, there was a nice big area outside for the children with grass and picnic tables. They had tied tarps to the fences. We couldn’t see out, and no one could see in.
I sent Parley into the building to get us some water and a snack. When he got back, he said that a CPS man had taken him aside and asked him a lot of questions. I could see that I could not trust these people. I couldn’t let my boys out of my sight. I wondered if CPS people let their own children talk to complete strangers and let them question their children down.
 
At this time we met the Salvation Army workers, who seemed to really care. Some of them set up washers and showers. They reached out to us and reassured us over and over that they were not a part of CPS. They were volunteers that would help people in a time of need. Many times they said that they just wanted to help us in this difficult time.
 
The older boys had tried really hard to do sing-song morning and night (group singing of hymns). They surely set us some sweet examples. It was very difficult to gather everyone together to do good words because it was so noisy with that many people, but we tried to carry on our normal schedules as best we could. It was very hard to put little ones down for a nap. When the light went out at night, it took about an hour and a half before all the crying stopped and it became somewhat quiet.
 
One of the families had chicken pox. While we were confined in close quarters, all got exposed. Many of the children were breaking out. The mothers gave these sick babies soda baths in a Rubbermaid storage container in one of the bathroom stalls.
 
This evening two Texas Rangers came in with M. Annette, M. Barbara, and M.
Paula to serve us papers.  For most of us they didn’t have papers to serve, so they had us give our legal names and our children’s legal names to these people that came with the Rangers. They gave me some papers for “Marie Musser,” but as I read these papers after they had gone, I found that the children listed were not my children. The children’s last name was Barlow, and they were all girls. 
 
Later I sat down and read through these legal papers. At the end was the reason they had taken us. Someone had called (supposedly from our Ranch) and given a gross report of abuse. It made me sick to read that account. I want the world to know that that kind of grossness has no place in our religion. These kinds of things do not exist in our religion; and if anyone treated another person like that in our religion, we would not put up with it and would turn the offender in. Our relations are through charity and purity.
 
The love of God does not give the least degree of allowance for sin in ourselves. And thus we rejoice not in iniquity, but rejoice in the truth. This heaven-sent love is first a self-discipline in righteous living. But it empowers us to forgive the wrongs of others and leave judgment to God. Keeping sweet is the conquering of oneself, setting oneself aside and taking on a greater power, a more noble nature―the character of God. And what is the character of God?: “And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.”
 
It is reachable―this becoming like God. The meekness and the humility increase; and then the thoughts, inspired of heaven, awaken in your mind, guiding you how to love others more. You remember the good in them, and you express it in a prayer of gratitude to God, thanking the Lord for each other. You even gain the power through the vision of heaven to look beyond each other’s weaknesses, looking upon what they can become because you seek perfection for yourself and also for others. Then every one of these powers is present and within your reach.
 
This evening the Texas Rangers promised us that they would return our cell phones the next day. The children seemed to really like these Texas Rangers. They looked like cowboys. The children kept asking them where their horses were. They wanted to try their handcuffs and so forth. Finally they all left, and we put the children back to bed for the night.
 
That night after everyone was on their cots, Parley slipped off his cot, came and knelt down by my cot, and whispered, “Mother, don’t hold my hand.” I asked, “How come?”
“Because they think it’s child abuse and they’ll take us from you.” I was astonished at what he was saying and felt the concern in his voice. “Who told you this?” I asked. “I saw it on one of the shirts they were wearing,” he said.  “It had a picture of a mother holding a child’s hand, and the shirt said ‘Child Abuse’.” Filled with a yearning to comfort his heart, I said, “That’s not child abuse; we’re ok.”   Child abuse is far from the teachings we are taught. 
 
From this time on he seemed very sober and apprehensive. He became watchful of these people’s moves because of the fear that they were going to take my children away from me. I told him, “Parley, I will not leave my boys.” Notwithstanding all our afflictions, the Lord was with us, and we were still the most blessed people on the earth, all because of one dear man and his weight with the Lord in our behalf. God bless the man through whom all men are blessed. (Note: this was the evening they started the medical exams.)
 
12 4-9-08 Wednesday
 
This is what took place at home:
 
Lots of officers milled around; there was much unrest. They brought in prison laborers to “clean up” around the houses and public areas. The officers left in groups throughout the morning and early afternoon. The walking “privileges” were restored by noon. The vehicles that had been impounded were returned throughout the afternoon. The main gate was back under our control by mid-afternoon. All the officers were gone, but with the threat that they “may return.”
 
At the Wells Fargo Pavilion:
 
Shannon came and checked on me and wondered if she could do anything for me or Mary. Jacob’s glasses had broken during this time, and Mary’s lens had popped out of her eyeglass frame during the night. On her own accord, Shannon told us she would take these glasses to Wal-Mart and see if they could fix them. She later returned with both Mary’s and Jacob’s glasses repaired and new ones on the way for Jacob, since his glasses were under warranty. She did many kind things for us. Later that day, she came and told some of us ladies good-bye and that she wouldn’t be there the next day. We never saw her again. I pray Heavenly Father will bless her for her many kind deeds to us.
 
They began doing medical exams on the children. I cooperated and took my boys to a large side room. They had metal partitions with sheets draped over them for their medical exam rooms. This side room looked as if it had something to do with the rodeos. The doctor who saw my children was a very kind lady. She did a normal well-child checkup on each one. Parley told her about his eye injury. I gave her a general background on the boys’ overall health. She said they looked really good. Their growth charts looked great.
 
After the medical exams, we all went outside. The washers they had set up drained into a Rubbermaid bin. When it got full, a pump turned on, and the water would go through a hose to a large grate in the road and then to the sewer ponds. My boys were very intrigued with this setup and really liked to watch it. An older man that was on the state disaster crew (Baptist Church) would always turn on the pumps whenever he saw my boys coming. We then made our way over to where all the children were.
 
A CPS worker I had first met at the stables came and found me. She had been kind to me, but I later wondered if she really was a friend.  She said that they were ready to investigate my boys and me and that she would watch the boys right outside the door of the room where they investigated us. Having been advised to cooperate, I said, “ok.” This was hard to do because I had never just let my children be with complete strangers, whom I knew nothing about. We walked back to this side room, where there was a little office. 
 
My boys and I walked in together. I tried to help the boys feel ok about this and not fight back on it. Two CPS investigators greeted us, a man and a woman.  I shook their hands and had the boys shake their hands and tell them their names. We sat down together for a few minutes, and then they wanted to speak to me alone. My heart was pounding rapidly as I let my three boys go just outside the door with the CPS worker I had met at the stables. I felt I could trust her since it seemed that she had reached out to be a friend. Parley was very concerned about this. I told him to stand right outside the door and knock if he needed anything.
 
These two people interviewed me. Since the time when Parley became concerned on the child-abuse issue, the thoughts kept going through my mind, “What is child abuse to these people?” So the first thing I did was to ask them. They gave me some examples. It made me sick to hear the accounts of child abuse. I told them, “My boys do not know this kind of stuff even exists.” I told them, “I’ve been walking on tiptoes because we are constantly watched by so many CPS workers. I don’t know if I told my boys, ‘no more granola bars’ whether they would write me down for child abuse.” They assured me that this wasn’t child abuse and that I had the right as a parent to manage their eating, bedtimes, and so forth.
 
They asked questions about where I had lived, how long I had been in Texas, and whether we had more than one mother in our home. I answered the best I could. They asked who the biological father was, and I told them. When they wanted to know about the other ladies in our home, I told them they could answer those questions for themselves. I gave them an overall view of our everyday living. I told them how the boys slept on a different floor from the girls and that each child had their own bed where they slept every night. I asked them to please not expose my boys to the awful things of the world. I gave them a quick idea of each boy’s personality. I let them copy my legal documents and the boys’.
 
The woman investigator asked me if there was anything she could do for me. I said, “Is this event all over the media?” She said, “Yes, it is.” I said, “I have some dear parents who I know are yearning to know my condition. I would be so grateful if I could call them.”   She seemed very affected by our situation.  She walked me outside, gave me her cell phone, and let me call my mother to tell her we were ok.
 
During this interview, Parley knocked on the door and said, “Mother, the CPS lady is asking Jacob a lot of questions. She asked him if he wanted to go to her home and live with her.” I about wanted to cry; I felt I was not in control of this whole situation. 
After they were done with me, they interviewed the boys. At this time they brought in another investigator to help because there were so many of us. I was standing there by the door, waiting for the boys, when one of the workers asked me if I would please walk down with another CPS worker to tell the other ladies about this procedure. Many of the ladies were resisting being interviewed.
 
One of the CPS supervisors had just finished meeting with some of the ladies on child abuse. I suggested that maybe we should talk to these investigators first and educate them a little on the kind of people we are so that they could understand why this was so traumatic for the children and for us mothers.
 
Our ladies told them that our children were very scared of them. They would see the red fingernail polish and be terrified that these people’s hands were bleeding. They would see the earrings and think they were hurting themselves to put these fingernail clippers on their ears. We have nothing against the black people, but our children have never seen them before.   What we had was a culture shock with these little children. One CPS worker said, “I think I’m catching on.  It’s like taking our children and putting them with the Africans that don’t wear any clothes and have bones through their noses.” We all laughed.
 
We began telling them that it was against our religion to raise our voices at our children, and that we invite them to good works through love. I explained to them this example: “You know how you feel when your child does something right or makes an accomplishment―that sweet joyful feeling you have inside your heart?” They smiled and said, “Yes.” “Well, we are taught that when our children do a wrong thing, even something terrible, we must make sure we can still feel that same sweet joy and love that we do when they do right. That takes an effort of self control and a reaching for Heavenly Father’s love to flow through us to that child.” One CPS lady’s face lit up, and she said, “I wish I could take this seed and go out from here and spread it everywhere.” She said with tears in her eyes, “My mother was a druggy.”
  
During our conversation this lady said, “CPS messed up.  To tell you the truth, CPS messed up.”
 
They wondered if we had a manual on raising children. We told them, “No.” But we do live by the Book of Mormon, The Doctrine and Covenants, and the Pearl of Great Price. They asked if this book was available. We got one and showed where in the Doctrine and Covenants it spoke of how our human relations should be. They asked where they could buy this book, and we told them that it was available at any LDS Bookstore. At this time, it felt for a moment as though they could begin to understand.
 
This evening it became very windy and stormy. Most of the children were asleep when we heard some sirens going off. I had never heard them before. The CPS workers started running around and seemed very anxious. They told us the sirens were a tornado warning and had us get all the children off their cots, take them over to the strong walls of a big room, and have a pillow for each one to put over their heads. Some children slept through the storm, while other children were crying. This possible natural disaster seemed peaceful as I contemplated what had happened over the past few days. After a while, the storm died down, and we put the children back on their cots. Thus ended a very eventful day.
 
4-10-08 Thursday
 
This was the day we got our cell phones back!   It also was a day when I began to feel a change in these CPS workers―they became cold. This was also the day we met with Ken Eisenberg and Jim Pearl, our attorneys. We had to divide into two groups so that half of the mothers could go back to the side room and talk with these lawyers while the other half would be with the children. A CPS supervisor told us that our attorneys had just arrived and were ready to talk to us. But she said there was one thing they had to do before we could talk to them. They had us walk back into the side room while the lady over this supervisor, a black lady, decided whether we looked 18 or older. Everyone that went back there actually was 18 or older. She pulled about half of the ladies away, saying they were not old enough. They went and got their ID and showed her, and she let them go over to where the attorneys were. There were a couple of ladies that did not have their ID with them, and they were not permitted to talk to these lawyers.
 
After the supervisor nervously cleared out all the CPS staff, we breathed a sigh of relief to be out of their watch for a few moments.  Our lawyers were disgusted with CPS for making them sit outside the building for 1 ½ hours before they let them in. The supervisor had told us that they had only been there for 5 minutes. Our time was short with these lawyers because they had other appointments to meet. We didn’t even know if we could trust these men. They told us they had been hired by the church to find attorneys for all of us. They told us that Lyle Jeffs had been the one they had been in contact with. Pauline was there and asked if she could verify this. They dialed Uncle Lyle’s number, and Pauline talked to him for a very short time. He told her that he had sent them. We then felt it was safe to talk with them. They gave us some information and took our names down. It was good to be told again of our Civil rights.
 
As we walked out, a couple of us turned around and saw some CPS workers behind the curtained partitions.  They had been there the whole time listening to our conversation with the attorneys. I couldn’t believe it! When one man realized that he had been seen, he quickly stepped back behind the partition. I just couldn’t believe it. But I calmed down and said a prayer. Some of the ladies walked back and told the attorneys. I walked back into the big main room to find the ladies I would trade off with. Today I called Father and gave him an update on what had happened thus far.
 
One incident that I feel to relate occurred when CPS got some sidewalk chalk for the children. The children took it outside on the pavement and wrote all over, “We want to go home.” “Take us back home to Father,” and so forth. It was amazing to see these CPS people when this happened. They became very nervous and wanted the writing off the pavement. One of the ladies took some of the boys, got a bucket of water and some brooms, and had them clean it all up. I later came to understand why they were so nervous. Up to this point the media had only been able to interview CPS. CPS told them that the women and children loved it there and that they didn’t want to go home. Thus their nervousness as they witnessed the children’s real desires. THE CHILDREN WANTED TO GO HOME! And, oh boy, so did the mothers. The children cried to us about going home.
 
By this time the medical exams and interviews were pretty much completed. The children were quite stressed over all of it. I wondered what they would have us do next. Many ladies that came back from having their children examined said that they had tried to do medical exams on them also. These mothers were appalled. We later found out that CPS had no right to require the mothers to do these medical exams. I also found out that they had no right to interview the mothers and question them down. This whole episode was on child abuse, not on our being abused. I marveled how CPS could receive one phone call and pass judgment on an entire group of people. Did CPS realize the emotional abuse and trauma they were putting our children through? Did they realize that almost every child and mother were suffering with sickness since they had taken us? Where is the evidence of child abuse in our lives? It is totally against our religion and our practices, all these things we are being accused of. In addition, many times these CPS workers would say, “You ladies are our role models of the way children should be raised. You ladies do such a wonderful job; we’ve never seen such sweet children. We’ve never seen mothers be so calm and patient.”
 
The mothers were becoming very fatigued from the challenge of keeping their children right with them at all times in such a big area. It was hard for the mothers to use the bathroom or brush their teeth. The children were getting sick from the stress of all these exams and so forth. One lady whose children were being interviewed had her children taken away by the investigator without her knowing anything about it until they were gone. This dear mother had no idea what was happening. She asked around and talked to other CPS workers, but no one could help her. When I saw her later that night, I asked about her children, and she said they had brought them back after about eight hours.
 
Imagine the stress that mother endured, as though her children had been kidnapped.  And no CPS worker would help her or answer her questions. It was a sweet comfort to see her tucking those children into their cots that night. 
 
4-11-08 Friday
 
This was a day of peace. We were able just to take care of our children. We began to notice that apostates from our church were there with the CPS staff. 
 
I just want to note here the tender care that the Salvation Army gave us during these very stressful days. There were three men: an older man the age of a grandfather, a very quiet Mexican man who reminded me of Uncle Chad, and a middle-aged man who looked like the captain of a ship. They went out of their way to cook things for our babies. They would ask us what we would like them to serve us. The captain went out and bought two toasters because all of our children like toast so much. I know Heavenly Father sent them there to take care of us. Heavenly Father surely loves us. May I be worthy.
 
4-12-08 Saturday
 
This day it looked as though they had brought a new set of CPS workers in. Jim Pearle sent a group of attorneys to see us. This is when our relationship with CPS turned really cold. None of the ladies who had previously shown ID for their disputed ages were allowed to meet with the attorneys. CPS refused to answer any questions. Our ladies had been allowed to see Jim and Ken on April 10. Now we were accused of having false legal documents. CPS thought they had so much power that their selected helpers could scan us ladies up and down and judge whether we were over 18 or not. They would physically escort these girls out of the room if they tried to ask questions or ask for an explanation. They even wanted my ID to prove my age. That was a good keep-sweet experience.
 
We first talked with John Kennedy. Then I talked to an attorney by the name of Todd Stephens. I asked him about many of the laws in Texas. He said three years ago it was legal for a 14-year-old girl to get married with the written consent of her parents. I asked him if CPS had the right to ignore our legal documents and scan us up and down to decide what age we were. It felt as though CPS was the judge and there was nothing we could do about it. He also said if a 17-year-old girl was married, she was considered an adult and had the right to an attorney.
 
We signed the papers we were given because John Kennedy had come with the code word given to him by Jim Pearle. We had to have these reassurances because we didn’t know whom to trust. 
 
This evening the Salvation Army workers told us that they would be going. We surely didn’t want to see them leave. It seemed that they were about our only friends in this prison.
 
A miracle happened this evening. Heavenly Father blessed all of us to gather in a circle for singing and prayer. The children became quiet as they all gathered around. We sang songs with our faithful group of older boys, who would sing in the morning and at night. It was a miracle to see and to feel the order and the peace among all the children. We sang many songs. The workers became quiet and listened. The Salvation Army personnel had their chairs close by to hear the singing one last time. As we sang together, it felt as though the Heavenly Fire surrounded us; it was so beautiful. For the last song we accompanied a recording of our Prophet dear singing,”Oh, Zion.” I believe all our hearts were penetrated by Heavenly Father’s sweet spirit, and I believe it carried right out to the people listening. For the first time in all our days together, all 174 of us knelt down and had group prayer. I saw the great love of our Heavenly Father in granting us that special time. We didn’t know it would be our last time with all of us together. 
 
Thus ended another special days in all of our lives as we all were yearning to keep Zion growing.
 
4-13-08 Sunday
 
We arose to a beautiful Sabbath day. This marked a week since I had left home. It felt as though months of experience had happened in that past week. We said goodbye to the Salvation Army. I walked over to the man who reminded me of Uncle Chad and expressed my gratitude for his kindness to us. He talked very quietly, just like Uncle Chad, and in broken English said, “I’ll always remember you people. You will always be in our prayers.” Then he pointed to a lady across the way and said, “See that lady? She’ll take care of you like I took care of you. If you need anything, ask her.  She’ll help you.” So I realized that two groups of people from the Salvation Army had come, but they all were gone by the end of the day. I said goodbye to the captain and expressed my gratitude. He said, “This has totally been my privilege to be here and help you people.”
 
I got the boys over to a table, and we read stories from Grandmother Margaret Jessop. Mary asked if some of her children could be there with me. She said the CPS supervisor was calling a meeting with the boys 12 and older and their mothers. Susan asked if I would watch her little ones while she went back with Edward. We got busy drawing and coloring and had snack. We kept our prayers going, not knowing what was next.
 
After about 15 minutes, the older boys and mothers quietly came walking out of the side room. They all went right to their cots. It looked as though they were packing up their bags. They got their bags packed and quietly walked over to a back entrance of the building with their mothers. Some of the children ran after them, wondering where they were going. They told them, “They are taking us somewhere else.” So the children quickly shook their hands, and the older boys left the building. Their mothers turned around and started walking back towards the cots with tears flowing down their faces. When would they see these boys again? But CPS would give no answer, just like when we were first taken.
 
It was amazing to watch one of our dear mothers whose age was 35. CPS had refused to let her see an attorney because they had judged her to be under 18. Then at this point, they took her 11-year-old son away from her and sent him with the group of boys. It seemed that whenever any treacherous act was performed, they would then and there decide what age we were to justify their deeds. At one point, the CPS workers told this dear mother, “You should feel complimented by how young you look.” The mother replied, “That does no good for me in this situation.”
 
One mother related what took place when they took the boys back to the side room:
 
“The CPS supervisor gathered the mothers of the boys 12 years and older and told them she needed them and their boys to come and have a meeting with her and some people in the back room. We gathered together and went back with her. She introduced us to a new group of CPS workers and introduced the boys to these people, naming each boy and giving his age.  She introduced the boys to a male CPS worker, who told them that CPS had decided that they would have to go to a shelter where all the other boys their age were. 
 
“The mothers started questioning these people, wondering why they would take these boys and what they were going to do with them. So I turned to the supervisor and said, ‘Are you meaning to tell me that you are lying to me? You told me you were trying to get kids with their mothers and now you are taking them from us?’ She stumbled around and didn’t know what to say. Then the male worker said it had already been decided by CPS and there was no choice.”
 
The day was quiet and sober. Some of the children went to the policeman that had been there every day for security purposes and asked him, “Why did they take the older boys?” I was standing there listening as he replied, “Oh, there’s funny little laws.  They told me this wouldn’t happen, but around here they change the laws about every five minutes.” I asked him, “Do they plan to do this with all our children?” He said, “I don’t know.” His heart seemed troubled, and he walked away.
 
CASA workers came in. They were very kind. They let the mothers sit by the children while they talked to them. My boys talked to a 29-year-old man named William. He asked them what they liked to do. Parley said, “Rake leaves.” Then he asked each boy what he most wanted, and they all said, “I want to go home.” He told the boys to look at his badge and showed them a little man inside a heart at the bottom.  He told the boys when they saw a badge with that symbol they would know it was a CASA worker, and they could tell them if they needed anything. Parley seemed to be comforted by this. He looked at that badge carefully in case he might need help from a CASA worker.
 
This evening the police came in with a court order to take all our phones away again because we were all potential witnesses and the court did not want us being tampered with. So we all had the metal detector run over us, even the tiny babies. Then they put all of us in the side room while they searched the building for cell phones that we didn’t voluntarily bring forward. The CASA workers were still in this side room. They waited it out with us. We sang some songs for them, and their hearts seemed very touched. They let us back in, and the police commented, “What some sweet ladies; we didn’t find any cell phones.”
 
Later this evening I got Terrill and Jacob to sleep.   Parley wanted a shower, so I went out with him because he wanted me to keep him company. That was sweet to me. The showers were busy, so we walked over by the fence, where a CPS lady was standing. She poured out her heart to us. She was called in by CPS to come down to San Angelo and help with the situation. She said that CPS wouldn’t tell these workers anything. She said, “I go home every night and cry for you people.” She told us that this was her last night there.
 
After speaking with her for a few minutes, we walked over to the shower trailer. This shower trailer had three showers in it with shower curtains to divide each stall. As we came out of the shower trailer, a couple of CPS workers were taking our wash out of the washers. They mixed up all our batches in the dryers. One black lady turned to me and said I couldn’t do any more wash because there would be a curfew that night.   She was very anxious for Parley and me to get into the building. She just herded us right along till we were inside after which they locked the doors. I thought it quite odd because they had never done this on the other nights. 
 
The mothers usually showered after the children were asleep, but we couldn’t do that tonight. Almost everyone had only one change of clothes, and that had to be washed up and ready for our next shower opportunity. Some were not as fortunate and only came with the clothes on their backs. Clothes were shared. Later when we got home, one lady told me, “I’ve been in these same clothes for ten days.”
 
4-14-08 Monday
 
I didn’t get up very early today. Jacob and Terrill were still sleeping when I woke up.
Parley had been up, and he asked if he could go get some breakfast. I let him and asked him to get some for us too.  As breakfast was finishing up, the CPS supervisor made an announcement. We were told that we would be moving to a bigger and better place where we could all stay together. CPS said they really needed our cooperation to meet their appointed times. They asked us to pack up but to leave the cots and bedding. A shiver went through me, “What will happen next?”
 
As we began packing up and cleaning our areas, another announcement was made that lunch was ready and we would need to hurry to get our food and eat in order to meet their time schedule. I had barely gotten through the line with my boys and gone to sit down when the next order was given. Remembering the accounts of the Jewish concentration camps, I truly felt we were being herded along like animals and no longer being treated like human beings.
 
As the order was read, I told the boys we would just have to leave our lunch. I picked up their bags of animal crackers and told them that as soon as we were settled together in this next place, we would sit down and eat animal crackers together.
 
We were told to go stand by our luggage. A CPS official read the orders, and I have never heard such a heartless voice as I heard then. She told us that we would be divided into two groups. The first group would be the mothers with children 5 and under. Any mother that had a child five and under would take all her children and walk over to the Coliseum. Then she said that any lady that had not given birth to children would come over to group two, also that any lady with children 5 and older would come over to group two.
 
As we were trying to pull our senses together, the CPS official raised her voice and said,
“If any of you mothers lie, we’ll find you out. Think of the example you are setting for your children. If you lie or get resistant, you will make it worse for your children.” I was a little confused at these orders. I walked over to a CPS worker and said, “My youngest is 5.  I don’t quite understand which group she wants me in.” The lady said, “I’ll go find out.” As I stood there waiting for her return, a black lady came over and very harshly asked me the age of my youngest child. I told her “5.”   “Then get over to group two now!” Without hesitation I headed that way with my boys. 
 
During this time all the others were leaving the building. A feeling of panic came over me as I watched them leave. “What was happening!?”  As a tall black lady herded the others out the door, she began yelling at our people, “Let them out of this building!” I could see by the way we were treated that these people were trying to do something and that they didn’t have much time.
 
Group two consisted of nine ladies and twelve children. As we stood there, some of the CPS workers asked who would need help to haul their luggage over to the Coliseum. I felt relief when they asked this question, assured that we would be going over to the Coliseum. One of the workers counted us about three times.
 
One of the ladies asked to go get something from her luggage, and a CPS worker was going to let her get it until the supervisor saw this happening and turned on the worker, scolded her, and told her not to let us back on the other side. At this time the CPS worker who had befriended us at the stables came and stood in front of me and my boys. The CPS official with the heartless voice read off the orders, stating that they had some very important information to give to this group of ladies but that we could not bring our children to the meeting. “Your children will be right here when you are done with this meeting,” she said.
 
The CPS worker standing in front of me started coaxing my boys to her. I could see we had no choice. Her eyes met mine.  I can not judge her heart, but she had a certain look in her eyes. I’m sure the look in my eyes said, “HELP!”
 
Parley turned to me; he was done with this CPS business. He said, “I’m not staying out here. I’m coming back there with you.” This was not a joke any more to him. I said to him quietly, “Par, let’s just be peaceful.” He stated again that he was not staying with them. I said, “Par, if we cooperate, these people will help us get back home.” He stated it again. By now these people were out of patience with us. I looked at Parley and said, “Parley, I’ll be right back out to get you boys.” They herded me away.  Any child that tried to follow, they herded in the opposite direction. The supervisor said to the children, “Come on, y’all; come and play with me!” Then the official giving the orders had us line up single file and walk back to the famous side room. The door shut behind us. 
 
I was the first in line and saw about 30 CPS workers right ahead of me in a group with others scattered throughout this building. As we stood there, a CPS worker came and stood by each one of us. A man about 5’5” came and stood by me and gave me his name, which I don’t remember. As the CPS official read her next order, about 40 armed policemen came out from behind the famous curtained partitions, and stood on the other side of her. I felt as though I was surrounded by the demons of hell.
 
The order said that they had full custody of our children.  By this time I started crying; I didn’t care if I was shot down or what.  I raised my hand and exclaimed, “I have broken no law!” No flicker in the official’s face, not a word missed; she carried on as if I were not there. I felt as though I was about to pass out, so I knelt on the floor sobbing, holding four packages of animal crackers. I stood back up as she said we were ordered to leave these premises and not return. She said there were two buses waiting outside; one would be going to the compound and the other to a women’s violence shelter.
 
My mind was racing about 1000 miles an hour. The man had my arm, taking me out.  I thought, “What is the compound?  What are these choices they are giving us?” I asked, “Will I see my children if I go to the shelter?”  He said, “Most likely.”   Brenda nudged me and said, “Marie, we’re going home.” I turned to this man and asked, “If I go home, will I ever see my children again?” He looked at me and stated, “Probably not.” 
 
By this time I could tell they were up to their next trap, so I got on the bus to come home.
A black CPS worker took my name, my children’s names, and our birth dates. We asked about our luggage; we asked about at least saying goodbye to the children. “No, no, get on the bus,” was their reply.
 
Two ladies from the Mental Health Department got on the bus with us. They were about as shaken as we were. A male CPS worker personally marched the ladies on and told them where to sit on the bus. This man seemed to be involved in every event. He had investigated some of the children. After we had boarded the bus, it backed out and parked in a big parking lot away from the buildings, where we waited. We could see several other buses pulling into the Coliseum. It wasn’t until we got home and compared our stories that we realized the grossness of the situation. 
 
When we backed up, they would bring to the Pavilion some more ladies that fell into the group-two category. They worked the same deception on that group, and after the deed was completed, the bus would pull back beside the Pavilion and pick up these ladies. We were surprised to see one lady who had a two-month-old baby and some other younger children.
 
The Mental Health ladies began to come around to see if we needed anything. I told one of them that I had some important medication in the building that I needed. She got on the phone and told them of my situation, but they would not allow us back into the building to get my pills. One lady needed her medication, and another needed her water ionizer (she could only drink ionized water, or she would get sick).  When she came to the mother with the two-month-old baby, the mother asked what she could do about her baby. The Mental Health lady was appalled. She said, “You have a two-month-old baby and they put you on this bus? This whole thing’s a mistake, but that’s an even bigger mistake!!” She was not impressed with CPS. She got on her cell phone and started making phone calls. Soon a CPS worker came and got this mother.  Later we saw her walking over to the Coliseum with her baby and the rest of her children.
 
We acknowledged Heavenly Father’s hand in this.  Our families in the Coliseum did not know what was going on; now this lady had witnessed and could tell our families what had happened.
 
This backing up of the bus and pulling back in by the building continued until the bus was full of grief-stricken ladies. I asked later, “Did you see our children when you came into the Pavilion?” The first group after us said that by the time they got in there, they had some of the cots stacked up with a curtain drawn across them. When they first walked in, they heard some children singing, “Keep Zion Growing.” They saw a CPS worker quickly go back and quiet them. But they didn’t think much of it until the deed began to be performed.
 
The oldest boys in that group were 11. The girls ranged from 5 to 17. They disputed two ladies’ ages, which was a great blessing. These two ladies took the children into their care as best they could.
 
I was amazed that some of the ladies CPS sent home were the very ladies who had been denied the right to see a lawyer. But in this action, CPS decided they were 18. So they were sent away from the Pavilion.
 
There was a policeman assigned to this bus, and he really did well with a bus load of emotional ladies. He went out of his way to get my pills. The first time they brought out the wrong box.  He tried again, but a stop was put to it, and he couldn’t go further. I was grateful for his efforts though. He got water and tissues for all of us.
 
One note: As we sat waiting on the bus at the Pavilion, two CPS workers got on and said,
“Now, ladies, it’s not too late to choose to get on the other bus. If you go to the shelter, we can work with you a lot better. If you decide to go back to the Ranch, it will affect how we work with you.  We’ll still work with you, but it will not be the same.”
 
As we pulled into the gate here at home, we saw a flock of news media. We sat on the bus a few minutes waiting for our ride to come and meet us. We got out and walked over to the gate. The media was everywhere. I felt as though I was about to pass out, so I walked over to the fence and leaned against a post. Jim came over and asked them to interview me. I gave them the story of what had just happened.
 
We loaded into vehicles and came right to Grandfather’s home. We immediately met with some of the attorneys. They asked us if we wanted to give our stories. About 5:30, they let the media in, and we gave our stories by Grandfather’s house. Our emotions were high, and the experience was fresh on our minds.
 
That night we slept on some bunk beds at the Big House. That bed felt good! My thoughts continually turned to my three boys. I yearned unto the Lord that they would not feel that I had forsaken them, for as I walked back to famous side room, I thought, “I’d rather die than have them take these precious children from me. I’d rather fight to the death then let them do that.” But the Heavenly Father had a different plan, and I have learned that His ways are best.
 
 
Court Events
 
4-17-08 Thursday
 
Court hearings began today with CPS presenting their case. Angie Voss and a sheriff who had the Bishop’s records were the witnesses. This session lasted until 9:30 PM. Then  Judge Barbara Walther declared a recess. Some of the attorneys ad litem tried to persuade the judge to allow some mothers to go to the Coliseum who had been away when the raid happened. The judge said they could meet with her after court was excused. After court was excused, the judge walked into her room and never came back out. I was interested to see what would happen, so I made my way to the front and was standing near the CPS people when an ad litem came up and expressed his frustration at the CPS because they would not work with them at all. 
 
A CPS man said, “Well, your clients have not given us any cooperation.” I raised my hand, looked at him with tears in my eyes, and said, “I did everything CPS asked me to do! I cooperated myself right out of that Pavilion, leaving my children behind.” He looked at me as though he was amazed that I would dare speak up, and then he just stood there and didn’t know what to say. I would ask in all honesty, for CPS to show me where I did not cooperate. All the feedback from the CPS people that asked me to respond to their wishes was, “Thank you for cooperating.”
 
I watched a dear mother who had been away from the ranch when the raid happened walk up to every one of those CPS people and forgive them. She had a little girl at the Coliseum who had been crying for days for her mother. I saw the Prophet’s love in action as she went to each one and forgave them.
 
4-18-08      Friday
 
We were in court all day. The one remaining CPS witness was a doctor who, like Angie
Voss, had consulted with an “expert” former FLDS member to know how to deal with us people. He said how many wonderful things we had going with these children, but he had one great concern: that our children’s brains would not develop because they were not “allowed” to make choices. When it came down to whether the brain damage would be greater than the trauma of taking these children from their mother, he finally agreed that taking the children from their mothers would be more damaging.
 
Then the court turned to hear our side. A Mr. John Walsh, a doctor of theology, was brought in. It was amazing to listen to him. Three of our ladies testified.
 
The judge made the ruling that the state would keep the children. Many attorneys protested that she had already made her decision before the court hearing began.
 
The judge required two things of us at this time:
1. DNA Testing
2. Filling out child replacement forms.
 
She said the DNA testing would start at the Coliseum on Monday, April 21, 2008. Then on Tuesday, April 22, Labcorp would come to Eldorado to test us. She said the next hearing would be in June.
 
This was the first time in the history of the United States, that a hearing like this had been held.
 
It was still light outside when we left the courthouse.
 
4-22-08      Tuesday
 
This is the day they took my three boys to Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch. They sent home two of our ladies whom CPS had judged to be under 18 on the day I was kicked out of the Pavilion. They had stayed with the children at the Pavilion, who didn’t have any mothers. The mothers with younger children were still at the Coliseum. But on this day CPS decided these ladies were over 18 and sent them home. I anxiously asked these ladies about my boys. They told me that after the mothers had been bussed back to the Ranch, CPS separated the large room in the Pavilion into two rooms. They put all the boys on one side and the girls on the other side. These two ladies were not allowed to help out with the boys, but they could see them from their side. The ladies said the children would do pretty well during the day, but when it was time for bed, all the children would start crying for their mothers. They tried to go around and comfort all these children the best they could. 
 
As the days went on, their crying for their mothers would go on longer and longer each night. My heart felt empty. Oh, does anyone in this America know what has happened to our children? Does anyone care? Or is this just a normal event in the lives of the people in the world? Have they lost all care for humans? How can one phone call (that didn’t even come from our Ranch) cause such distress and trauma in the lives of people and no one care about it, no one do anything about it?
 

These two ladies went on to tell me how the children could feel that something else was going to happen to them. On the day they took them from the Pavilion, these children gathered all the little children and put them in a group and then surrounded them. The outer ring of children locked arms with each other so the CPS people could not break them apart. Then they sang two of our hymns: “We Ever Pray for Thee” and “We Thank Thee, O God, for a Prophet.” After they had finished singing, CPS broke their group and told them they were taking them somewhere else. During this time, CPS locked these two ladies in the kitchen as they took the children. They were able to watch what took place through a small window in the door. All the children started screaming and crying and hanging on to each other so they would not be separated again. The CPS workers loaded these children onto buses and took them away. The children’s ad litems were upset because legally CPS should contact them before they move the children and do different things with them. I do not know all the laws of the land, but I thought, “Has any of this been done legally? Is this really how America is? I have done no harm to any creature, yet here I am, not allowed back to my home and my children taken. Where can I go to a land like I thought America was?"


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