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The Truth about the “Lost Boys”

2008-06-13 14:30:42

By Donald Richter

 

Among the allegations circulating in regard to the FLDS people is that they expel young boys from their midst for trivial reasons in order to reduce the competition for brides. Such a ridiculous story would hardly deserve a passing comment if it were not so widely believed. When the YFZ children were still in state custody and their mothers were making fervent pleas for their return, some people posted comments on various websites criticizing the mothers for pretending to love their children when in just a few years they would be heartlessly abandoning their boys on the streets—uneducated, unprepared for life, and with nowhere to turn for help. The very suggestion that mothers who have endured the suffering that the FLDS mothers have during the last two months would be so callous is heartless in the extreme. 
As in any culture, there may be a few parents who have acted unwisely in raising their sons, but there has never been a systematic effort to expel boys from the FLDS communities. On the contrary, every effort has been made to help them develop into honorable, productive citizens. Young men have left the FLDS faith over the years, but this has been because they chose to leave, not because they were kicked out. They were loved, prayed for, yearned over, and worked with. Even when some of them decided to leave, their parents often assisted them in making the transition.
 The term “lost boys” was coined by Shem and Dan Fischer in 2004, when Dan Fischer began his Diversity Foundation in Salt Lake City to help troubled boys who had left the FLDS culture. People are a combination of many traits, and it is easy to oversimplify. Dan Fischer likely is motivated in part by a desire to help these boys, and he no doubt has done much good for some who have made such a radical departure from FLDS beliefs that they no longer feel comfortable in their former culture; but being a bitter ex-FLDS member, Dan also is motivated by a desire to attack the religion he was once a part of. As a successful dentist and businessman, he differs from other anti-FLDS crusaders in maintaining a greater professional distance and manipulating others into making more direct attacks on the FLDS religion.      
Needing a group of young men to make public statements at the July 31, 2004, news conference on the steps of the Utah State Capitol Building held to launch his Diversity Foundation, Dan hosted a party at his home the week before. The Deseret News of August 26, 2004, included statements from several of the teenagers who attended this party, showing that they felt manipulated and exploited.
George Barlow, who was 20 years old at the time, married and working full time, reported, “One of his guys called me and asked if I wanted to start some stuff against Warren Jeffs. He said they were willing to pay me $500 for the trip up, to take me to a game, put me up in top-of-the-line hotels in Salt Lake City. I told him I didn’t care for it.”
Dan Timpson, 19, who left home two years before, also refused a similar offer. “I didn’t have to run away from home,” he said. “My dad helped me; he let me do that and let me make my own choice. I have no problem with the folks out there. I left the place with a good feeling. They’re good people, and I personally think people should live the way they want.” At the time of the Deseret News article, Dan Timpson was working with his father in the tile-setting business.
Some who attended the party reported that beer and wine were made available to any of the young people who desired to partake and that many had done so. One 16-year-old girl reported that an attorney talked to each teen to see who was willing to make statements about why they were “kicked out.” “They got a lot of those kids drunk,” she said. “Every last child there was underage. Alcohol was given to any child who wanted it. I told my mom about it as soon as we got back. It was crazy. Most of the things the kids said up there, they were drunk and they lied. It was just sad. Those kids were all saying their parents kicked them out. But they weren’t; they had a choice.” At the time of the article, this girl was living in St. George, working part-time, and attending high school.
A 17-year-old boy remarked, “It was pretty weird. They (the adults) just said ‘sure’ when kids asked about beer and would point them toward it in the kitchen. They told us they wouldn’t hurt our families or the Crick (slang for Short Creek, now Colorado City). I think they just wanted to get to Warren Jeffs.”
Such comments suggest that Dan Fischer, like a few others who have left the FLDS faith, has an agenda that goes beyond just helping troubled young people.
In an effort to gather material for this article, we asked parents of young men who had left the FLDS faith to write letters or to ask their sons, if they were willing, to write letters sharing their stories and the conditions under which they left as well as telling what they know about others who also have left. We appreciate those who responded to this request, knowing the uneasiness many must feel in exposing private family matters to public scrutiny.
The letters we received have been edited for spelling and punctuation to make them more readable, but none of the content has been changed. Names were included on all of the letters; but to honor the requests of some who have written, we have posted all of these letters without names and have used fictitious names for family members mentioned within one of the letters.
Included also are several letters and explanatory material appearing on other websites.
 
Letters from Mothers and Sons
 
Mother of FLDS “Lost Boys”
There is so much talk about the “Lost Boys,” young boys that have been allegedly kicked out from the FLDS religion. But are they really lost? No. The boys are very much wanted and loved.   The majority of boys stay and choose the life of their parents. Was abuse ever a cause for their leaving? Maybe in very rare extreme cases it was. But the majority of the time abuse had nothing to do with it. We are not an abusive society. Abuse is not taught in any of our literature or accepted in any way. Every effort is made through our local law enforcement systems along with governmental agencies to rectify such situations and bring the perpetrator to justice. So why do some choose to leave? For various reasons of their own, not all children hold the same ideals as their parents. I believe every individual was put on this earth with the talents and gifts from his or her creator to succeed. How they utilize those talents and build upon them by applying and using the resources around them is their choice.
I am an FLDS mother who has two boys that have chosen a different lifestyle than my own. Were they ever abused or kicked out? On the contrary. They were very loved, wanted, worked with, and prayed for in the hope they too would see our way of life and choose to remain with us. Time after time they were gathered up by their loving parents and siblings, confidences and privileges extended and great love given to encourage them to be clean, moral, productive and upright citizens, endowed with all the skills, ethics, and teachings important for manhood, fatherhood, and family. Were they forced out? No, they left of their own choosing. One was eighteen when he left and the other seventeen. He lived with his older brother for a year or two before starting a life of his own.
Was a lack of education a reason for their going? No. Stories go rampant that education is not offered our children or considered a value. Not true. I myself have a Master of Science Degree in Nursing. I have worked in a rural hospital for seventeen years, worked as a flight nurse, and am active in family practice. I have attended educational seminars throughout the country from California to North Dakota. The FLDS People have always considered education important to their children. We want to ensure our children the best clean, wholesome environment for learning possible, where the most pure truths of sciences, mathematics, history, economics, English, and social skills can be learned in an environment conducive to learning. Every effort is made to ensure private and home schooling by professionals and, yes, college-prepared teachers to ensure every child the best opportunity for his or her educational needs.
As [in] any Christian religion, there are some that choose paths quite different from the choices a loving parent would choose for them. No son of mine was ever unwanted and dumped in the street to be a burden to society, and I’m sure I speak for many FLDS mothers. Many tears were shed and many hearts were broken at their leaving; we knew we had done all we could and it was of their choosing. Were they given opportunity to learn valuable skills, or education? Yes. Was it wrong to allow them to go? I yearn for them and their welfare yet recognize I couldn’t continue with the lifestyle they chose in my home. It would be wrong of me to hold them. I pray each day they will make appropriate choices that will help them be the best they can be in their lives to be clean honest Americans to the best of their abilities.
 
May 28, 2008
I want to say that I have seen the FLDS religion and I love it. Some parts of it, some parts I don’t agree with, but I feel like everybody should be able to make their own choices. I love my parents, and I have never been abused. I was not forced out; it was a choice I personally made. I am not afraid to go out there and visit; in fact, I do once every three months. And I have never been approached by the Lost Boys, but I think it’s wrong what they are doing, turning boys against their parents for Dan Fischer’s personal gain.
 
I don’t think that polygamy is any different than some guy who has three divorced wives and every one of them is on welfare. At least those children know who their Father is, and I feel like they’re wrong in pulling those children from their home in Texas because those children are not abused any more than any other community. If you want to single somebody out, just come to St. George and look through the community and see if it’s different.
 
I left in July of 2004. I love my parents and I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt their beliefs, and they have every right just like each other American to believe in what they want. And I do know who my mother is, and my father.
 
I would never change anything about my childhood and how I was raised.
 
 
(The young man who wrote the following letter left the FLDS faith, got into trouble with the law because of drug abuse, and currently is serving a prison sentence. He feels remorse for his crime and is determined to reform his life.)
 
To whom it may concern,
My name is ________. I am writing this letter to those who are believing many lies that are being spread about the FLDS church, or to anyone who might care to listen to a few words of truth.
I was born in 1988 and raised in the twin cities of Colorado City, Arizona, and Hildale, Utah. I lived happily there with my family for 17 years. Not once have I suffered or witnessed abuse from any member of my family. Growing up I [have] never seen or heard about any of my friends or relatives being abused or mistreated. For 17 years I was a member of the FLDS church. I left my family and my religion because I chose not to obey my parents nor do what I knew to be right.
At age 16 I started sneaking out at night after curfew to drink alcohol with other boys and girls who were also minors. My loving Father and Mother spent many sleepless nights trying to find me and worrying about what might happen to me. Many times I would come home around noon after staying out all night getting drunk and disturbing the peace in the quiet town where I lived. My parents tried time and again to get me to stop doing things that were destroying my image and character.
I was only one of 25-30 young people who would leave home without our parents’ permission to get drunk and do things that no decent citizen would ever do. We would try to get all of our friends to do what we were doing through peer pressure. Our parents tried desperately to get us to see how we were wasting our lives and deteriorating. They have always wished the best for us just like any good parent would. Some changed their lives for the better, but many did not. I, for one, would not change. We were a very bad influence on our little brothers and sisters who looked up to us so much. My parents pleaded with me to change, but I would not listen.
I left home with my parents [and my] brothers and sisters crying and asking me not to go, then not knowing if they would ever see me or hear from me again. I decided to leave my family and the ones who loved me to go out on my own and see the world for myself.
My father arranged for me to stay with my brother who lived in Hurricane, Utah. He also helped me get a bank account and other things I would need to live on my own. Many times my family would ask me to please change my ways and come back home, but I would not listen. I was not thrown out of my home like so many ignorant people say I was. Neither were my friends. Like me, many of their parents helped them to get food when they were hungry or medical care when they were ill.
Then along comes the notorious Lost Boys organization with a disguise of wanting to help any way they can. Talk about being lost. Talk about being ignorant and clueless. They would offer iPods, leather jackets, and other items to young men and women so they would come talk to the media and say all kinds of lies about being mistreated, abused, or abandoned. Why is it that the Lost Boys, Dan Fischer, and all these “helpful people” will only offer their gifts and money to people who have turned against the FLDS church? They don’t want to worry about the people out in the world and all over the United States who are really being abused and neglected. No, they only want to use their money and tax money provided by the state to spread lies and persecute the people that they used to be a part of. I did not take any of their bribes in the form of charity. Anyone with any common sense can see that they don’t really care as much as they want to spread lies about the FLDS people.
People say that the FLDS Leaders kick the young men out so that there will be more girls for themselves. But I am a witness that such opinions are based off of lies and rumors spread by people who know nothing about the FLDS people.
The young men and women, and those not so young, who say that they were abused or treated wrong by their parents who are faithful members of the FLDS Faith, are most often lying and wanting attention or sympathy. Sure, some may have been mistreated, but they are very few. We are all human, and nobody is perfect. We have all made mistakes. And sure, many have been excommunicated because of alcohol abuse, immorality, or continued dishonesty. But what kind of a church allows its members to continue to break the rules and to continue to do things they know are wrong?
Many young people who left home like I did are now spreading lies about their families and those who love them. Many are accepting bribes, free jackets, iPods, and other valuables so they will tell lies and get attention or sympathy. I have been offered to go to their free dinners. I have been offered their free gifts and other things. Some of my friends have been offered cash just to get in front of a camera and say all kinds of things that they know are not true. I myself have been to one of their free dinners, and I could tell that it was all a big show and that they could care less about our well being. All they really wanted is for us to get riled up and make a show for people to see. Some of my friends have told me that the only reason they told lies about their families is because they got free gifts out of the deal.
Those who say that the FLDS people make a habit out of child abuse or abandonment are ignorant liars. The FLDS people do all they can to keep their families together and to shelter them from harm. I know that the truth will stand tall in the end, and when the truth is seen by the world, then those who have spent their time and money to spread lies and promote persecution will be seen as the dishonest liars that they are.
Still many young people are going through what me and my friends have gone through and are still going through. Many are still being bribed and manipulated into telling lies about their families and their former religion, thus breading hate and persecution for the people who care most about them.
Isn’t it amazing how people can be so discriminated and persecuted in a country that is supposed to allow freedom of religion?
But what do I know. I am just one of those young, strange “Plig Kids”.
                        Signed
                                    __________
 
 
May 28, 2008
 
I just want to say that I love my parents and if I had the choice of any parents, I would have chosen the parents I have. The reason I left is that I feel like I was going a different direction. I don’t like to fight. I believe in freedom of religion, and I appreciate that they can practice any way they want to; anyway, as long as it’s not hurting anyone else. I want to dress a different way and like to watch TV and stuff. I believe in freedom of religion, so I hope they can, too, practice their religion however they want to.
 
As far as the Lost Boys, I haven’t been approached by them. I don’t agree with what they are doing as far as the way they talk about their families.
 
I haven’t seen any abuse out there. I don’t feel like I was abused.  I wasn’t kicked out. I made a choice to leave. I had a choice; if I would have believed and put my heart into it, I think I could have put my heart into it. I chose to go a different way. I tried to be respectful about it. My parents were nice. I don’t begrudge anything they did. Even since I left, I have a good relationship with my parents. I have the utmost respect for my parents; so if I went out there, I would put on a long-sleeved shirt, etc. I have been out there, and everybody’s been nice and real good. I don’t think Dan is actually encouraging drug use; I just don’t think he’s doing enough to stop it. I haven’t had any problems. As far as the accusation of killing the boys, you (Father) have more boys than girls.
 
I have seen a lot of the Lost Boys on TV, known a lot of them, and talked to some. I appreciate them trying to put those boys through school, but I don’t agree with how they are doing it…I don’t agree with getting them to write books. Dan Fischer has plenty of money. He could help them get a place to live, not going at their families like he is. I don’t know what their circumstances were.
 
I lived on pretty good terms with my parents and feel I still have a good relationship with my parents. I left in July 2004.
 
I believe they can choose and as long as it’s not hurting other people, I think you should be able to do it if it’s your choice.
 
With regard to the high number of pregnant teenagers, I don’t agree with how they are counting them. Others believe in abortion and the like, but my parents consider it murder.
 
On the news a while ago, there was a Lost Boy. They asked: How many are on drugs? He said: Oh, probably 98%. They were like: That is a good argument right there.
 
 
June 12, 2008
My son was one of the most darling and sweet little boys there could be. He was so full of personality and a great joy to our lives . . . until he started telling lies and staying out late at night. For several months nightly I would wait up for him until 3 or 4 in the morning. He would tell me he had a flat tire or he had to work late. When he was home at night at the proper time, he would wait for things to settle, then sneak out the window.
We, his parents, continued to give him every opportunity to make choices to be honest. Our desire was to see him succeed. He had some moral issues with some girls; he also got very good at telling lies to cover up. He was being used by a certain girl and her mother to purchase special things for them. The mother of the girl would take these two underage children wherever they desired and encouraged them to be immoral.
Whenever I asked him about situations he would "blow up" at me.
He told his father he would work and help pay off a certain bill for the family. When all was said and done, not only had he not paid it off, but he made it bigger and more of a burden for the family.
Even through all this we forgave him. If he would just live right and be honest, we would love to have him in our lives. Finally HE made the move. He chose to cut all ties with his family.
We shall always love him and pray for him, yet we cannot allow dishonesty to rule.
From a mother
 
(Letter from the older brother of a boy who left.)
One incident. I was with Father; Sam walked in. He told Father he was moving out. Sam clearly made it his choice to leave town at age 14. In doing so he moved to the town of Hurricane, Utah. He moved in with 4 or 5 boys that I knew, _____, _____, _____, and _____. There was another boy, _____, that moved in after. Many boys came and went. Sam refused to live with Mother. It broke her heart to see him leave.
I offered Sam a room in my home if he would live by my rules and not get into trouble with police. —Sam refused—
He was offered a place to live with _____, who also set rules. —Sam refused—
While Sam was living in Hurricane with these other boys, they turned to drugs and alcohol. Sam, 14 years old with no guidance, got into trouble. The police got a call from a neighbor saying the boys were loud and using very foul language. The police showed up and found Sam with drugs. So they called his mother. She and one of Sam’s brothers drove down to Hurricane and picked him up. The state of Utah set a court date for Sam. Sam’s loving family showed up at the court house to show him some support.
Experience May 2003
A Hurricane officer called Mother, saying they had picked up Sam, charging him with drug paraphernalia, use of alcohol, and foul language. I was out of town working at this time. Mother and my brother Marvin drove to Hurricane to pick Sam up. They spent some time talking to Sam. Marvin, who also struggled as a teenager, related his experience and accounts of his life when he was living on his own, to Sam. This was an attempt to help Sam understand that he needed some direction in his life. Sam refused his help; he only wanted to be with his friends. After talking with him, it became late; so Marvin offered to let him stay the night at his home. At first he refused, then finally agreed. The next morning Marvin asked Sam what he wanted. At first he said he wanted to go to work with me (Albert). I was working in Las Vegas at the time doing construction work. Marvin called me and asked if Sam could come work with me. I said yes, and I asked if he could drive Sam to Las Vegas? Marvin said yes. Marvin then talked to Sam about going, but Sam then changed his mind and said no. He said, “I need to go back with my friends in Hurricane.” Marvin said, “Do you need to check in with your friends first?” Sam said, “No, I need to talk to Albert before I go work with him.” Marvin said, “Here is the phone”. Sam said, “No, I need to talk to him in person.  Take me to Hurricane.” So Marvin took Sam back to Hurricane.
Sam at age 15 declared that he didn’t want anything to do with his religion or his family.
This is accounts of different family members who offered to take Sam into their homes.
_____ (Dad)
Offered Sam a place to stay if he would obey the rules of the home. He offered him a job as well. —Sam refused—
Me (Albert)
He lived with me and my family one month. Refused to obey the rules of my home. He got into trouble with the police. He then moved back to Hurricane.
_____  (Sister and husband Philip)
Sam lived in their home and worked with Philip on his framing crew. This was after Sam had gone to court for drug abuse. Sam did good for about 5 months; then he couldn’t obey the rules of the home. He was then moved into the Guest House here in Colorado City. He was there for a short time; then he moved back to Hurricane.
I began writing letters and making trips to Hurricane with Mother to make sure Sam had what he needed. We bought him food and clothing.   Mother loved him very much. She would spend hours crying and wondering why he was turning away from the people that truly loved him. Sam told me that he wanted to go live his life. I told him that was OK, but he needed to not get into trouble. I asked him if we could find him a foster family to stay with until he was 18. Sam agreed to bring it up in the next court hearing.
Five of Sam’s brothers and his mother went with him to court to show our love and support.
—Comment from the Judge—
“Wow, Sam, your family must really care about you to come to your hearing. I just had a young gal in here, and she was alone. Her parents are off partying in Las Vegas.”
The judge placed Sam into detention for 30 days for failing a drug test. The judge assigned a court official to search for a foster family for Sam. They found two different families willing to take him in. Sam refused them both. After Sam got out of detention, he went to live with Doug Cooke, a former FLDS member. While living with Doug, Sam joined a group of young men calling themselves “The Lost Boys”. Sam and all his friends were invited to a party in Salt Lake City. Dan Fischer, another former FLDS member, was the person hosting the party. Sam became involved with Dan, and later Dan through the court adopted Sam.
Sam is now 20 years old.
 
May 28, 2008
 
This is _____ , and I left FLDS of my own free will and choice around December of 2001 simply because of the way I believe, in that everyone should have the choice of religion and their reality. I think I had a great upbringing, and my parents did everything they could to instill the attributes of good and right that I still believe today.  Honesty patience, respect of others were all taught to me as well as great work ethic. I was not abused or harassed at all. I have the upmost respect and love for my family and parents. Of course there are certain things I don’t agree with, such as polygamy and the distancing of family because of their beliefs. Overall though, I feel that community is a great environment for raising a family, and they are not affecting anyone else; so they should, in return, be left alone.
As far as the Lost Boys, I appreciate the people who will help others; but in my opinion, giving people everything without effort results in the useless group of individuals victimizing themselves over everything known as the Lost Boys. At this point, I think it’s Dan’s personal entertainment.
 
I know since I grew up at Hildale that there is no more abuse, criminal activity, or anything else there than anywhere else. Finally, since ignorance speaks the loudest, there’s a load of crap for every gullible person to believe. All in all, I enjoy going out to see my family on occasion and have no fear at all while in the community.
 
 
May 28, 2008
 
I am not a lost boy. Anyone who needs to, or wants to, can find me. As far as harassment or abuse, it’s from the State of Utah. They should quit harassing the parents and some of the rest of us. As far as Dan Fischer, some have indicated he has encouraged drug use; this I don’t know.
 
Our choices as we have grown up may or may not be according to our parents’ decision; if we don’t keep the rules, we have to move out. I don’t think Hildale is the only place where young people have to move out for not keeping the rules of the home. I left around December 2001. As far as being raised in one home, it’s very obvious who was in the control of our home. I was raised not in a community home, but a family home.
 
As they dispute our education, our learning, and teachings, who is going to teach the people in Texas how to count? Or when can we get the same number for at least a week at a time on the reports?
 
I am a little afraid of going out to Hildale because they so often have the Washington County harassment team out there to harass us and the people there. I am not afraid to go out there. As far as education, the lack thereof was of my choice and the fact that I don’t live there anymore. I wasn’t forced out by the head of the household or the head of religion. Who could ever give their family the proper teaching, training, care, and raising, with the law carrying on like they are? Whether it’s in this community or the next, it is wrong for them to come in and take the children based on the false pretense of a fabricated phone, especially when it’s obvious there are many homes and many families, then tear the children away from their families.
 
I have little experience with the Lost Boys. I have stayed out of it and don’t agree to how those boys have been led into drugs and alcohol. They’re discouraged from doing anything productive with their lives.
 
What they have done down there in Texas isn’t right nor has any reason to it.
 
Since I’ve moved out of Hildale, I have seen children on too many occasions who are being abused and neglected and have nothing to do with polygamy or the twin cities. To close, I love my family and could not ask for a better upbringing.
 
 
May 2008
I was confronted by this lady, Michelle [Michelle Benward, a social worker in St. George, Utah], who said, "You were mistreated, and your parents did not give you the respect you needed." She was just trying to get me to feel bad and be part of some program, possibly the "Lost Boys" program. She let me know I would get a free place to stay, free food, and an opportunity to go to high school.   She tried to get me to go talk at a meeting and tell how I was badly mistreated in my home and community. I told her that I was taken care of and it was MY choice to be where I was, do what I did. She still insisted that I go to the meeting and be part of the program. I did not do it.
I was underage and got into trouble with the law. I was sent to detention and was told I would stay there until I was 18. My father and our religious leaders offered to welcome me back home if I would not get into trouble (with the law, etc). At this time I made some decisions to "clean up my life."
I was welcomed back by my family and religious leaders. I am now 18 years old and very much a part of the FLDS people.
 
Items from Other Websites
 
From Connor’s Conundrums
Connor,
I wanted to thank you for putting the petition together. My wife and I are ex-FLDS members. While we lived in the FLDS community, we were never abused, kicked out, and when we left we were never chased down. We both loved growing up in a safe community. We chose to leave because of religious differences. I feel that what Texas has done has violated so many Constitutional rights and I fear for the rest of us. Thank you again I appreciate you for standing up for our Constitution. My in-laws also send a heartfelt THANK YOU.
#6 David on April 24th, 2008
 
Conner (and others),
Thank-you!  Those are my friends and some of my beloved family members.  This whole fiasco has been executed in a cold and heartless manner by the State of Texas and the CPS.  I personally do not know of any underage girls married to old men, or even married for that matter (and I do not look the other way to purposely not see it).  I do know, however, many loving FLDS fathers, mothers and their children.  I grew up in a loving environment and was taught to learn and grow by love.  I have 50+ brothers and sisters, (and yes, I know all their names) the youngest married was 18 years old at the time.
Now, everyone is not the same, so of course there are some who will do wrong and will abuse, but that is NOT condoned by the FLDS and is expelled as quickly and decently as possible (that is why there are many embittered ex-members).  Those people have only hurt themselves (and now hundreds of innocent people) by hiding their own wrongs and pointing the finger of blame at others.
Thanks for letting me “vent” : ) for a minute.  I am just so horribly appalled at what is happening and well, my heart is broken and weeping for the children.  I have seen many of these same children happy, smiling, playing and joyful. I can only imagine the hell they are going through now.  I wake up in the night and my thoughts are of them.  May God bless and protect them. And again, thank-you for being kind!
#8 FLDS Mother on April 25th, 2008
 
I personally know many of the “lost boys” and whatever you “believe” from media reports ain’t necessarily so. Most of the young men were out at nights drinking, smoking, and sexually involved with (gasp) underage girls.  Are you saying that we (FLDS parents) should have encouraged that behavior and allowed it so the boys would “stick around?”
And for your info…each boy chose on his own to stay or go.  Staying meant cleaning up and making something more of their life…going to school…learning a trade, etc.  And the reason so many of them have “educational problems” is for the very fact that they “chose” not go to school; rather, they “chose” to go off with their “friends”.
My suggestion to you is don’t believe everything you hear and half of what you say!
The hearts of every one of those boys’ parents were broken. They want nothing more than for the boys to succeed in life, BUT…should they give up their values so a stubborn teen gets what he wants?  Shouldn’t those boys be as respectful of their parents as everyone in the nation seems to think the parents should be of the ‘Lost Boys’?
And please don’t rant back at me about FLDS values or such…just realize— there is WAY more to the story than any of you realize…give the same consideration to the FLDS Parents that you give to “Lost Boys” before condemning anyone.
#54 FLDS Mother on May 1st, 2008
 
I have to stand up and say here, I left the FLDS because I wanted to play, I wanted to go to movies, I loved basketball, and I liked a girl.  My mother was sad, but she said “you need to make the choice that will make you happy, God wants us to be happy, and if that’s your choice go be as good a man as you can.”  I left, I know many of the lost boys, they are all ones who listened to Dan & Flora and saw they could make a ruckus. I am happy.  My mother still loves me, although she is grieved with my choice.  FLDS Mom is very correct in her sentiments, and for your information Brian, you have been brainwashed with a lot of lies and misinformation. Oh, by the way!! Did you notice I can spell and type? I’m not dumb and neither are most of them, except the ones who refused as was stated to go to School.
#57  I Am NOT A Lost Boy on May 1st, 2008
 
Daniel
I still have a testimony!!  How’s that you say?  Well, again I said I left because there was things I wanted to do, that were forbidden in the FLDS, well, forbidden is a strong word, but it was frowned upon.  Especially the movies and liking the girls.  Basketball was ok, but only in a friendly sporting way, I am very competitive, and I wanted to play more than what seemed healthy I guess.  I feel like I still have a testimony of the things I was taught in the FLDS, it just wasn’t strong enough to overpower my other desires, if you know what I mean.  As far as hard getting out? Hell no, I wavered in and out for a few months, and had lots of motherly advice, and some of my brothers even took me aside, and in a very caring way admonished me!!  But when I finally left, I just left, I told them I was going, they all said “well, do the best you can, were sorry to see you go, as we love you very much” then off I went, I’ve met some since, and they are warm, loving and I can tell they still yearn after me to some extent, but on the same hand, want me to be happy.
#60  I Am NOT A Lost Boy on May 1st, 2008
 
 
FromFLDS View
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Lost and Found "Boys"
Beginning late 2002 to mid 2003 there was a split in the FLDS church. Winston Blackmore, the Bishop in Canada was demoted, and his brother Richard was asked to be the Bishop.  Winston then held a gathering in Canada announcing he would not step down and his brother and about half of the residents joined his new church.  There was a few from the Colorado City area who also agreed with Winston, and among them was Doug Cook.  Doug Cook was a tile contractor who had just recently split up with his wife.  Doug had a few young men working for him when he left the FLDS; among them were two of my brothers.  They were all at least 18 except Doug’s own sons.  He rented a house in the town of Hurricane, about 20 miles from the FLDS towns of Hildale and Colorado City.  This became the first “Lost Boy” party (safe?) house.  Literally dozens of boys, some as young as 13, would catch a ride down to this house every night.  I don’t know what they were doing to gain such recognition, but the Hurricane police department got rather tired of going over there.  Although this was not the only place to disappear to, it was well known by many parents who drove down there every night looking for their sons and sometimes daughters.
If a girl leaves, she “escapes” If a boy does he is “kicked out” if you ask the activists.  Neither one is true.
Over the next few months I went there twice to pick up my sister Fawn, and look for some of my minor aged nephews who had caught a ride with my brothers and their friends.  Later Doug moved his house and crew to St George.  Other older guys got their own place, but my brothers nephews, and their friends lived at Doug's.  The “Lost Boy” term was invented by Dan and Shem Fischer.  Dan Fischer a wealthy dentist and former member, and his younger brother Shem who had just recently left the church, paid these guys to come to Salt Lake for a party, and on July 31, 2004 they all gathered on the steps of the Capital building.  Most of them, including my brothers, were rather embarrassed and to this day refer to being called a “Lost Boy” as an insult.
One month later Dan Fischer got six of the young men to sue Warren Jeffs and the United Effort Plan (the trust the people of the FLDS held their homes and property in together) I am really grateful that my brothers refused to be a part of the lawsuit even when their friends were.  Thanks for not hurting your parents more, guys!
The Six “Lost Boys” were: (ages in 2oo4)
Richard Gilbert (19) – Whose parents had left the FLDS several years earlier
Richard Ream (21) – Who joined the church headed by Winston (truck driver)
Walter Fischer (20) – Who was asked out of the house for advances to his step sister
Don Fischer (18) – Walters’s younger brother, both worked for Doug Cook
Dean Barlow (18) – (Can’t remember him, lots of Barlow’s :>)
Thomas S Steed (18) – Whose parents had left the church several years before
There were quite a few minor boys in the news articles about the “Lost Boys” but none were included in the lawsuit because their parents would have made them come home.  Most of the underage boys I saw were living with their older brothers.  One of my sisters did give custody of her 15 year old son to one of my uncles who had left the church long ago.  I am sure there are others like him, but I don’t know them.  She got tired of chasing him home, and let him go.  It is hard enough to keep wayward teenagers in the house at night, and it became practically impossible when bitter anti-FLDS people are “rescuing” them from you on top of that.
I want to address the ridiculous story that these guys were “kicked out” to reduce competition for brides.  I am sorry, I am laughing just to type this.  If it wasn’t all over the news I would think it was a cartoon.  If these guys wanted to compete for the girls, they sure didn’t try very hard.  All you had to do was obey the doctrines of the church.  I am sure some men in the FLDS have as many wives as they do because there weren't enough young guys who would settle down and obey the church doctrines.  Two of my brothers are now married to young ladies who left the FLDS, and one (I hope) is getting married soon.  Be a man, Brig!
Now I don't have any criticism for the Diversity Foundation that Dan Fischer has created, nor the charity schooling that he is doing for some of these guys, but the lawsuit was like suing their own parents.  I think that was awful, and led (among the other three lawsuits paid for by Dan Fischer) to the seizure of the UEP Trust and all of the homes on it.
Posted by Pligchild at 7:29 PM
 
 
Yes, I was living in Short Creek and I do know most of the "lost boys"
Yes, they all left voluntarily so they wouldn't have to live up to the rules in their homes (party, booze), or some were asked out for not living up to the rules of their homes (Most over 18). None of the minor boys were "dropped off".  Their parents did seek for them when they took off, but the older boys (if they were FLDS they would be called Adult Men) would cover for them when their parents came looking.  They each have their own story, but they all left more than willingly.  Resources?  Sorry, that made me laugh.  Some of these guys were hard workers, others freeloaders. They are in this picture for one reason, and that is to get money from Dan Fischer.
The "Lost Boy's" term and the "dropped off" stories came from Shem Fischer and his brother Dan Fischer. Dan left the church over a decade ago, and was rather bitter but not until Shem came running to him claiming to having been unjustly fired from his job (his resignation letter said otherwise), did he decide to join the crusade. They filed four lawsuits at the same time, and this was one of them.  After the big media campaign and the lawsuits, the underage boys now had a place to hide behind to avoid going home.  Just say "I'm a lost boy".  Instead of making them go home, the crusaders would "protect" them from the polygamists.
Funny, "Lost Boy" is an insult to most of them now.
I know several fellows who had left the church and came back a few years later, but it depends on how they "sowed their oats".  It's a whole lot easier just to stay.
Posted by Pligchild at 11:00 PM
 
 
After my perusal of the comments from many an article on the news sites I would like to refute one big gargantuan lie.
LOST BOYS
The assertion is they are gotten rid of to keep them from "competing for brides"
I already addressed this in these posts:
http://fldsview.blogspot.com/2008/05/lost-and-found-boys.html
http://fldsview.blogspot.com/2008/05/few-questions-from-bored.html
http://fldsview.blogspot.com/2008/05/flds-mother.html
Regarding the underage boys who did leave, this is the truth:
They were not abandoned without resources
Their parents did want to keep them home or at least in a safe environment.
Their parents were never "required" to abandon them.
All of them left on their own.
Regarding the majority who were young adult men who left:
Most left on their own without being asked, but some were asked out
They had jobs and income, except the freeloaders who had enough training to get one.
They KNEW what the requirements were to stay, and did not do them.
The overwhelming majority of "Lost Boys" were adults.
The term "Lost Boy" was coined by Shem and Dan Fischer, who were seeking ways to sue the church and the UEP out of vindictive hatred.  They gathered the "boys" through word of mouth to Salt Lake for a party and a payday; they came and sat on the steps of the Capital building in Salt Lake City. Out of their so-called "400" they found six who were as bitter as they were. Most of the rest are now insulted by the term.
This "Lost Boy" Lawsuit was one of four lawsuits filed at the same time against Warren Jeffs and the United Effort Plan (A trust with no assets except the homes and property secured for members in good standing in the FLDS church, in an effort to live in the "United Order" or "All things in Common")
The cost of defending these lawsuits, filed in the court of a fairly new feminist judge named Denise Lindberg, who had previously been an attorney for Dan Fischer’s businesses; would have been extremely burdensome to the FLDS people.
The judge has since confiscated all of the homes and property and handed it over to her fiduciary Bruce Wisan.  To "protect" the "beneficiaries" of the UEP from Warren Jeffs.
His personal "fees" have given him ownership of the large Harker Ranch in Beryl, Utah that was donated to the church several years before.  He is now seeking to steal the YFZ property in Texas as well.
Posted by Pligchild at 3:53 PM  
Labels: lost boys, United Order
 
From CBS News.com
Would any of you believe me if I told you the truth?  I know over a dozen of the so-called "lost boys" And they feel like they were tricked by Dan Fischer because he offered them money.  If you were to call any of them "lost boys" now to their face you would be in danger of a knuckle sandwich!  I have asked them to write a letter to the Judge in Texas, and they and the girls that have left with them who grew up in the church are totally disgusted with what is happening to their relatives in Texas!
Posted by hiimallen at 09:40 AM : Apr 23, 2008


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