“What Are You Saying, Carolyn?”

2008-08-22 12:45:30

By Maggie Jessop

About Carolyn Jessop and her dark and imaginative concoction ESCAPE, it would be an understatement for me to say that Carolyn’s words and actions for the past five years have been shocking and horrifying. You see, I have known her personally for many years, and I would have thought she was a more honorable person than to stoop to such selfish and childish measures as exaggeration and lying to promote her own hateful agenda and purposely hurt innocent people. What is even more interesting than knowing Carolyn (at least what I thought I knew of her) is the fact that I personally know her husband. You see, her husband is my Father, Merril Jessop.

My name is Maggie Jessop. I have known my Father for forty-four years. I am his third child, second daughter, and I think I have lived around my Father long enough to know him. I am well aware of his habits, actions, personality, traditions, beliefs, and intentions; and I know his character. There is something about character that just doesn’t lie. Reputation is what people may think about a person, whether correct or incorrect; but character is what is known about a person. I have known my Father for a long time, and it is amazing to see how a disenchanted wife can paint such an evil picture of a man who is good and kind, honorable and faithful, and actually get so many people to believe something that is the opposite of truth. Are you one of those unsuspecting people, saturated with misdirected sympathy, soaking up the whimsical and fanciful script of a fairytale? Do you remember the tale of The Little Mermaid? Remember when Ursula posed as a beautiful woman with a soft voice? Though she appeared innocent and beautiful, she was still the wicked witch. Have you been hornswoggled and bushwhacked by the emotional tales of a fantasizing female?

A really good person often has as many enemies as he does friends, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is still a good person. I have seen that when a good person is slandered by the hateful tales of a former friend and then kicked around by the media and threatened by the law for supposed crimes, that person just gets better. I think it is a true statement that tough experience can make people tough. When a person is determined in doing right, the whining of a whiner is nothing more than the annoyance of a pesky fly. Though the petty distractions of an insect can be disturbing to a degree, sooner or later the fly will get swatted and life will go on. And even on a larger scale, do you think a tropical storm is going to uproot the Rock of Gibraltar? Not likely. Will Hurricane Carolyn destroy my Father? No.

My Father is a very unique man. I feel very blessed to be his daughter, and I can tell you that he is no ordinary person. They say you should not use the terms “never” and “always” because they are radical words and hardly represent reality. Well, I am about to use those words in honestly describing my Father. Open your ears because I want to tell you something about Merril Jessop that you haven’t yet heard—the truth. I have NEVER seen my Father out of control. I have NEVER seen my Father discouraged. I have NEVER seen my Father seek revenge. I have NEVER heard my Father yell at anyone. I have NEVER seen or heard my Father force anyone to do anything. I have NEVER known of my Father associating himself with anything of a corrupt or immoral nature. I have NEVER seen or heard of my Father behaving himself unseemly.

I have ALWAYS seen my Father keep his peaceful composure, even under the most trying and stressful circumstances. How many girls can honestly say that about their father? I have ALWAYS seen and heard my Father reach out to people and look for the good in them and build on it. How many people do you know who continually lift others by living in unselfishness themselves? I have ALWAYS seen my Father react to trial with an unbeatable grin and an unconquerable spirit. How many people do you know who can smile and crack a joke when someone just stabbed them in the back? How many people do you know who can return silence for slander, send a kindly word for an evil comment, turn the other cheek when slapped, and slapped again, and slapped again, and slapped again?

I have ALWAYS seen my Father return good for evil. How many children could claim that of their father? How many fathers truly live the Golden Rule? “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you” is a very nice creed to live by, and that is what my Father has ALWAYS done. I have ALWAYS seen my Father respect another person’s free agency, giving much room for growth, allowing others to choose their way in their own way. How many people do you know who restrict their own sermons for others to setting a good example themselves? I have ALWAYS seen my Father conduct himself in a principled, truthful, and pleasant manner. I have NEVER seen him mad, NEVER seen him idle, NEVER seen him drunk, NEVER even seen him sleep too long in the morning.

YES! He is a firm man. Yes, he is strong and determined. How can a man be a man unless he is that? Yet, he is meek as a child, glowing with humor and good will, and that is what makes a man a Father. Yes, he means what he says. Yes, he commands respect. He has earned it. Yes, he expects others to behave themselves because he sets the example. Yes, he expects others to live up to their blessings. He expects it of himself. That is why I love him. He is all of these things and much more. Truly, he is a man of steel and velvet and has lived an honorable life, learning line upon line, continually improving for seventy-two years. I can never repay the blessing of having a Father full of integrity, and I want to conduct my life in such a way that I will be an honor to my Father all my life and beyond, for he has honored me. There are hundreds more people who could say the same thing about my Father, so why does everyone pay so much attention to one distraught woman, moaning a bunch of outlandish tales in a novel to tickle the ears and feed the media frenzy, raking in filthy lucre, not honestly earned, but stolen at the expense of another person’s good name?

I was married the same day as Carolyn, May 17, 1986. I witnessed her wedding ceremony. She witnessed mine. I did not see her make any resistance to the step she was taking. I felt no resistance to the step I was taking. She was over eighteen years old and able to make her own choices. I was twenty-two years old and able to make my own choices. Both of us had the same opportunity. Both of us accepted the guidance of our parents and our religious leader in getting married. Carolyn was a plural wife. I was a plural wife. During the next fifteen years, Carolyn had eight children. I had eight children. Carolyn had four high-risk pregnancies. I had five. Carolyn was always free to leave. I have always been free to leave. Did Carolyn escape? No, she ran. If I wanted to leave, would I have to escape? No, I would just simply walk out the door. Of course, if I did, my children would fight me tooth and nail, just as Carolyn’s did. Did anyone pursue Carolyn? No. If I were to leave, would anyone pursue me? No, but they would help me pack my bags. Why did Carolyn leave? She wanted to. Why don’t I leave? I don’t want to.

You see, there is a very important thing that needs to be understood by all. That little thing, which is actually very big, is called POINT OF VIEW. If Carolyn felt abused, it was her perspective of her experiences. My life was very similar to hers. Do I feel abused? No. Why? Because in my point of view, my God-given right, I have never been abused. On the contrary, I have been a most blessed woman. I love the privilege of learning to share in a plural family. I love the opportunity of improving myself by going through experiences rubbing elbows with other people. Experience contributes to character. Experience gained through living with many different personalities brings knowledge about my own personality. That is the best way I can learn to see my own character, the depth of my own strengths and weaknesses.

I loved the privilege of having eight children. If I could, I would have eight more. What could the glittering glory of the world possibly offer to me that could be more wonderful than the honor I know in good, hard, honest work and commitment in being a mother, in raising the sons and daughters of God to contribute to an improved society for the next generation? What could bring more joy to my heart than to raise up honorable sons and daughters who are honest, dependable, principled individuals, people who enjoy life, people who strive to improve themselves and everything around them, people who smile, people who love, people who live unselfishly, a legacy of great worth that brings honor to the Lord, our Creator.

Plurality is not for everyone. I may not choose your way of life for myself, but I will respect your choice without criticism. You may not agree with my lifestyle, but of course you will allow me the freedom to exercise my free agency the same as you. Think about this. What if I were to go on a big campaign all over the United States and say a lot of things and make a horrendous stir, maybe even write a book about all the evils and corruption in the world today? I know there is much evil in the world, so I make it my crusade to save everybody from themselves and protect the women and children from those evils. How do you think that would go over? Okay, so Carolyn goes on a campaign to expose the evils that she has decided are present in the FLDS lifestyle. She was miserable, so every other woman must be miserable, right? Wrong. Does she have the right to represent us? Does she have the right to claim we are abused when we claim we are not? Carolyn says it took her a year after her escape to be able to think of herself as a person, not an object. That’s interesting. I do not feel like an object. I am a person, and I feel good about myself and all others. I’m telling you, it is all in the perspective.

The women in our society are all controlled by the men, you say? Hardly. I know hundreds of fine men, young and old, honest men who treat me with kindness and respect, and they look out for my best interest, just as I do theirs. The media image of tyrannical FLDS men who lord it over the women, forcing them to obey, is not part of my religion. The women just don’t dare speak up, you say? Well, what am I doing right now? Am I just an exception? No, I am not an exception. I have hundreds of friends. I know hundreds of very bright, intelligent, well-balanced, beautiful, happy, spunky women. You have to have a deep love for truth to live the way we do. You have to be willing to continually humble yourself before the Lord, and truly desire for Him to bring about the experiences you need in your life to see yourself and improve step by step. You have to have a lot of backbone; yes, even the nerves of steel to endure the mockery of the world.

Carolyn claims she has had a horrible life. Have I had a horrible life? No, but if I had, it would be my own fault. Have I had hard times? Yes. Have I had humbling experiences? Tons. Have I known hardship and want? Of course I have. Jesus was treated very badly. Did He run out and tell everyone? Did He write a book about all those mean and wicked people who mocked Him and even killed Him? Did He start up a campaign of talk shows and media exploitation so He could make a million dollars to pay for the abuses He had endured? There has been a book written. It is called the Holy Bible, and therein, He gives the recipe for success: forgive, forgive, forgive, and then do it some more.

The Jessop family discussed in Carolyn’s book I have known all of my life, even longer than Carolyn has, in fact, nearly three times longer. I’ll tell you how it is. Imagine taking your family and writing a book about them, discussing each person in detail. If you ignore every good thing each person has ever done, and you take each weakness each person has, and then times it by one hundred, and then present it as truth, you would have for yourself a book of lies. When we leave out the good and focus on telling the bad that we think or imagine about a person, even if it were partly true, we only tell on ourselves. The best way to find out the truth about a person is to ask their children. Who knows better than one’s own offspring? I have just told you the truth about my Father. Has anyone asked Betty Jane what she knows about her mother, Carolyn?

There is a fundamental truth that every person in the world should understand and protect. EVERY PERSON ON EARTH HAS THE RIGHT TO HIS OR HER OWN POINT OF VIEW. I am so thankful for mine. I would like to keep it safe. I am thankful for America, the Land of the Free, where I can expect to exercise my choice of religion, my perspective, my point of view without misrepresentation and persecution, without slander and abuse. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that all the sensational tales you hear about the FLDS are true because I can tell you firsthand that they are not. Don’t make the mistake of assuming that all of the women and children are suffering abuse and are powerless to act for themselves. I do not need anyone to save me besides the Lord. My eight children would tell you the same, times ten.

It never ceases to intrigue and amaze me how so many thinking adults, even educated people in the world, even those claiming to be fair and unbiased, can actually be so wise as to be able to form an opinion about something they know nothing about. Listen to the FLDS people. Read about the principles we stand for. Do not make the mistake of trying to fix something that is not broken. Remember, “By their fruits, you shall know them.” Don’t look at the misrepresentations given out by the media and former FLDS. That’s like taking Nero’s testimony to condemn the Christians. That’s like expecting Hitler to be fair with the Jews. That is like condemning the innocent to protect the guilty.